09 Jul The lows of divorce are part of your healing process
I had a client this week who came in to my Ascot clinic in floods of tears. She was at her wits end and didn’t know what to do.
“I’m just fed up of feeling bad” she told me between sobs. “I can’t seem to feel happy and it’s just not like me but the divorce affects me so much I’m a mess”.
Sadly I hear this a lot from clients and the people who follow me on Facebook and Twitter. The truth is divorce does hurt. It’s a painful process and is like riding an emotional roller coaster.
If you are going through a high conflict divorce the process can be extremely frightening as you don’t know what email or lawyers letter you are going to receive next. You live life on high alert all the time with no peace or time out.
The reality is that the hurt and pain is all part of the healing process. Experiencing negative emotions is a way of dealing with what is happening. The key to making it easier is to keep moving forward and avoid getting stuck. The challenge with this is that fear can be paralysing and can prevent you from taking any steps forward.
You have to come to terms with your new situation and the lifestyle changes that it brings. You have to deal with a sometimes complicated and detailed legal process and make plans for your future based on what you know now. It can be scary as most humans are scared and resistant to change.
However, as many of my clients often tell me as we come to the end of our coaching sessions, divorce can be the most liberating experience of your life. You have the chance to redesign your life the way you want it and do things you never thought you would get the chance to do
My advice is simple:
– Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together. You don’t know what the future holds and it could be fantastic so don’t waste time worrying about never finding love again when you don’t know that is true
– Get clarity on your situation. Take advice from the experts such a lawyer or a financial advisor. By understanding your options you will decrease any uncertainty and this will start to make you feel calmer and more in control.
– Deal with your negative emotions with a Divorce Coach or a therapist. Talk to supportive and positive friends and members of your family
– Get moving – if you strengthen your body you will strengthen your mind too. It may be the last thing you feel like but exercise will help you to shift your energy and start feeling more positive. You will find you cope better with challenges if you are healthy and fit.
Remember you are human and its natural to feel low at times especially when you are under a lot of stress. The key is being able to get yourself back on track and not stay in overwhelm for long. By following the steps above you will be able to do that.
My client left our coaching session with a detailed Action Plan of things she needed to do to put her back in the driving seat of her life again. Simple and easy steps that she was excited to make. A change of focus and some action is all it needed for her to feel better.
For more information on how to feel better download my free app “7 Steps to a Better Break-Up” or visit www.saradavison.com .