She had decided many times to leave him in the past as she knew she didn’t love him, however as soon as she had made that choice he would apologise profusely and assure her he would change and eventually convince her to stay. Her friends had seen this pattern many times and had no more faith that he would ever change.
It is my role to bring clarity to a situation and allow the client to make their own choices. By working with her it was soon clear that one of the main reasons she was staying was because she wanted a family. She had a huge fear of her “ticking clock” and thought her husband may be her only chance to have a baby. He had told so many times that she was unattractive that she felt no other man would want her. This seemed to be her only choice so she was easily persuaded to stay.
It’s interesting how our fears, however irrational, can hold us back from doing things in life. This is why it is so important to face our fears and the negative emotions associated with them. It’s a bit like being scared to go on a fast ride at a fun fair. Once you have done it, however scary it is, it does take the edge off them and make them less frightening. By facing her emotions with me she learned that she was using her fear of not having a baby as an excuse not to have to make the decision to leave.
Divorce is a chance to redesign your life and create a life that makes you happy and fulfilled. Helen was caught up in the sadness of her Divorce Journey and couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. We focused on creating a compelling future for her and identified inspiring ideas and goals for her to work towards. This is work in progress and as she moves along her journey it will gather pace. It gives her exciting goals to aim for and will provide added motivation to keep going when things get tough.
We looked at what her ideal life partner would be like and she considered if her husband was this person. We also looked at what the Divorce Journey would entail.
She now could now see that she could be happy again. It was her decision to make whether she was going to settle for a relationship that she knew would never make her truly happy or to be strong and start working towards a brighter future for herself.
My goal is to help my clients empower themselves so they can take control back of their lives. With clarity and confidence they can make their own decisions based on careful analysis and consideration of all angles of the situation.