“I’m worried that now I’m divorced I will never meet anyone else and that I will always be on my own”.

“I’m worried that now I’m divorced I will never meet anyone else and that I will always be on my own”.

Many of us worry about this so you are not alone. It’s normal to want to meet someone else although it is a good idea to take some time out to get your identity back as a single person before you jump into another relationship.

If you do feel ready to move on then take some time to work out what kind of partner you are looking for. Many of us spend a lot of time planning our career but spend little time working on our relationships. We need to pay the same attention to finding a new partner. You wouldn’t leave your home in the morning without knowing where you are going as you wouldn’t even know if you got there! If you don’t know what you are looking for then how will you know when you have found it?

Write a list of what your ideal partner would look like, their interests, personality and hobbies. Include a list of 4 things you will not tolerate in your next relationship. Now you have consciously identified what you would like you are more likely to find it. Don’t worry about getting it perfect, it’s not set in stone and you can change it at any time.

Your list gives you enough information to work out if you have found Mr or Ms Right who could be a life partner or just Mr or Ms Right Now… a bit of fun who can help you build up your self-esteem and have a few laughs along your journey.  Just by being aware of what you want can help you to protect yourself from falling head over heads with the wrong partner. At the same time it will allow you to have fun without being scared of getting hurt as you are full aware of your expectation from the relationship before you get involved.

Get out there and be open to meeting people. If you have a smile on your face and are approachable you will meet people in the most unexpected of places. Be friendly to everyone and you will be amazed at the opportunities that can open up when you least expect it. Often a chance meeting or a new friend can open up doors that would normally be closed. So keep positive and open minded and keep me posted on your success.

jai jai
jai@jaijo.com