Should I get back with my ex for Christmas?

Should I get back with my ex for Christmas?

Christmas is traditionally a time for families to be together. This can heighten emotions, especially loneliness if you are single as the focus is on happy families at this time of year. It can really highlight the fact that you don’t have that special someone to share it with and that can be hard to deal with.

It makes us more vulnerable to falling into old habits and the common trap of thinking it may be a good idea to try again with your ex. It is an easy quick fix to the loneliness and can seem an appealing option versus being alone for Christmas.

Whilst it can be very tempting to give it a go again with your ex and try to fill that void in your life it can also be a very bad idea too! It’s important to think carefully before you take any action and consider the following:

  • The reasons why you broke up in the first place – often these reasons still stand and it would only be a matter of time before these issues reared their ugly head again
  • Remember how long it took you to move on with your life and the pain you experienced at the end of the relationship. If it wasn’t right then the chances are low that it will work this time round just because you don’t want to be alone for the festive period
  • Take of the rose tinted glasses and remember your relationship warts and all. Was it really that great at Christmas together?
  • Think about other people that may be affected by your decision. If you have children this may confuse and potentially upset them in the long run. Also if your ex hurt you badly then your family may not relish the idea of sharing Christmas with them!
  • If your ex is still in love with you this could cause them more pain in the future if it doesn’t work out. Think carefully if this is a risk worth taking and the impact on your future relationship.

Having considered all these points carefully you can now make a decision based on fact rather than fantasy. It may be that the festive season relights a connection after your break-up that is worth a second chance. You may decide to give it another go knowing that your chances of success are limited but at least you go into it with your eyes wide open.

If you decide that it is not a great idea then try out some of the following to take your mind off your ex and get some new fun back in your life:

  • Organise a fun night out with friends that make you laugh
  • Plan something for Christmas Day that you will look forward to
  • Join a new club or get down the gym and meet some new people
  • Try out an online dating site or join Tinder – it will be a confidence boosting distraction from your ex and you may even meet someone you could have a future with

You only live once so you need to create a life you want to live. You can’t live your life looking in the rear view mirror all the time. It’s time to take back control and create some new options in your life.

Sara Davison
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