20 Dec Are you feeling anxious about 2018?
Breaking up is known as the second most traumatic life event we ever go through, after death of a loved one. So, it makes sense that it sends a huge ripple effect across your whole life and can turn your world upside down and inside out, leaving you reeling.
Please be reassured that it is completely natural to feel anxious about what the future holds. And at this time of year it’s normal to feel worried about what the new year will bring. In my clinic this week alone I have been asked these questions:
- “When will I start to feel better?”
- “When will this dark cloud shift?”
- “What happens if 2018 is just as bad as 2017?”
- “How do I get into the festive spirit this year when I feel so low?”
- “How can I make sure 2018 is better than this year?”
The challenge is that worrying, having sleepless nights and being anxious about your future won’t make it any better. Whilst it is human nature to react this way when your struggling to cope with your relationship breakdown, the truth is you have to take your control back and face up and confront those fears.
And the good news is that there is a way to make sure that you have a better 2018. Here are my 5 steps to reducing your anxiety and creating a fabulous 2018:
- GET CLEAR ON WHAT YOU WANT: Write a list of everything that you DO want to do, be, achieve and have in your life in 2018. This can be small things like making time for a coffee with a friend every week, to BIG dreams and goals such as visiting a new place or learning a new skill. Maybe you just want to feel happier in which case write it down! Capture as many ideas as you can and use your imagination. For some of you this may take some time to really flow as you don’t spend much time thinking about what you DO want. That’s ok – just take a piece of paper and jot down your thoughts as they come up over the next few days. Once you train your mind to start redesigning your next year you will be surprised by how many things you come up with!
- TAKE SMALL STEPS: For each of the items in your list note down two or three small steps that you can take that will take you closer to making it a reality. For example, if you want to feel happier think of one thing that you can do that will help you feel better such as maybe:- practice my body language or positive questions techniques- or even work out what is preventing you and face up to that fear by finding a way to improve that situation such as finding a way to deal better with conflict or creating another income stream.
- COMMIT FULLY: Put your goals and resolutions up where you can see them. Tell your friends what you have commited to do in 2018 and explain how you are going to do it. They may have some ideas for you too and can be your support to keep you on track and motivated to keep moving forward.
- TAKE MASSIVE ACTION:If you want to make 2018 a better year then you have to take you’re your control and do things differently. If you carry on doing the things you have always done then you will get the same results. So diarise the different steps for each goal so that you actually make them happen.
- CELEBRATE: Reward yourself for taking small steps forward and don’t forget to celebrate when you achieve something that you didn’t have in 2017. Even the smallest changes can have the biggest impact on how you feel … so every step is worthwhile and moving your forward.
The best thing about my 5 steps is that your anxiety will disappear! When you have a plan and a positive focus you have HOPE. And when you have hope for a better future and can see it becoming a reality with every small step forward, it will boost your confidence in what lies ahead for you.
By taking control of your destiny and actually taking time to plan what you want your life to look like in 2018 you reduce your anxiety and swap it for excitement for what your future holds.
So get planning, dream big and please do share with me when you achieve your goals in 2018!