“I don’t go out now I’m divorced as I don’t like going to events on my own”

“I don’t go out now I’m divorced as I don’t like going to events on my own”

“I don’t enjoy going to events on my own. I find it really awkward.” I hear this so much and to be honest, it’s natural to feel a bit uncomfortable when you are out on your own.

It will take a bit of getting used to and you may think it’s easier to hide away and not go out at all. However you do need to move on with your life and make some new friends. It’s all part of your Divorce Journey and part of building your new life and future. It does take a bit of courage and some practice however you will be surprised at how easy it can be if you follow my simple top 10 tips.

Sara’s Top 10 Tips of how to go to events on your own:

1. Find out what the dress code is for the event and make sure that you choose something appropriate. You want to feel comfortable so aim for something that fits in and doesn’t stand out too much. That way you will feel at ease when you walk in the room. Wear something that you feel good in as this will give you more confidence.

 2. Smile. Often when we are nervous our face can look very stern. This will put people off talking to you. So try your best to look relaxed and happy and you will find that more people will want to speak with you.

3. Don’t put pressure on yourself to meet your next partner. Just go to have a laugh and meet some interesting people. You just never know who you may meet and how it could improve your life.

4. Everyone’s favourite topic is themselves. So when you meet someone for the first time start by asking them a question about themselves. “How did you hear about tonight?” or “What do you do for a living?”. Try to ask questions that don’t just elicit as “yes” or “no” response as this can end the conversation pretty quickly.

5. Some people are easier to talk to than others so try to spot the friendly faces and talk to them.

6. Look for other people who may be on their own as they will be looking to make new friends too. You already have something in common!

7. Don’t talk about your ex or go into detail about your personal situation and break up. Whilst it may feel good to download it can be uncomfortable for others. You are building a new life with new friends so keep the conversation light and happy. You are not looking for the sympathy vote, you want people to like you for who you are.

8. If you are talking to someone’s partner then make sure you include them both in the conversation. You don’t want anyone to think that you are targeting their partner.

9. Don’t drink too much as you want people to remember you for the right reasons.

10. Swap telephone numbers if you met anyone you would like to keep in touch with. Follow up with a friendly text the next day. “Great to meet you last night. Would love to catch up again soon”. You will soon gauge from their response if the feeling was mutual.

It’s good to have the motto “I never turn down an invitation”. If you are lucky enough to be invited out then make the most of it. You just never know who you might meet. You may make a great friend, meet the love of your life or maybe just have a fun time and some laughs. Life is too short to stay in because you might feel uncomfortable. It’s up to you to create a wonderful future for yourself. So it’s time to get up off the sofa and make it happen.

Please do let me know how you get on via my FB or Twitter.

Sara

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jai jai
jai@jaijo.com