19 Jan Divorce can be tough but what if you believed that everything happens for a reason and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together?
There are many challenges to face during your divorce journey and sadly there is no magic wand to take away all the pain and difficulties you will have to face. However there are many ways to make it easier for you and a smoother process.
How well you cope will very much depend on how well you can control your focus. If you spend all your time thinking about the negative side of divorce and the tough times ahead it will make your journey harder than it needs to be. The trick is to manage your thoughts and direct your focus towards moving forward.
Here are my top 7 tips on how to control your focus:
– Think about how it would change your divorce experience if you adopted the belief that this was meant to happen so that better things can come together for you? It will help to decrease the intensity of your negative emotions and give you hope and a reason to keep moving forward.
– Write a list of 3 things you will be able to do when you are divorced that you cannot do now. I have seen clients write down on their lists a range from just being able to go out without asking permission, spending better quality of time with their children to having some romance in their life again. Put the list somewhere you can see it every day.
– You will find it easier to have control over your focus if you take some exercise – even 20 minutes brisk walk a day will make a huge difference to your state of mind.
– Ensure you get enough sleep at night. This will enable you to have more control over your emotions and be more rational in your thoughts. (If you struggle to sleep then contact me via this blog and I will send you some tips.)
– Surround yourself with a good team of upbeat and supportive people who will encourage you to keep moving forwards.
– Don’t suppress your negative emotions as they will build. You do need to acknowledge and release them as part of your healing process. Follow my 5 step “Facing your emotions process” or ask a therapist to help you with this.
– Schedule some fun into your life as laughter and happiness will help you heal.
However hard things can be holding on to a belief that there are better times to come will help you through. Practise the techniques above to keep your mind focused on more the positive aspects as this will give you more strength to get you through the tough times and keep you moving forward.