Divorce can be a positive experience

Divorce can be a positive experience

Times have changed and the old fashioned view that a marriage will last forever has to fade. Britain has the highest divorce rate in Europe with 42% of first marriages ending in divorce. If we do achieve the fairy tale of happy ever after that is fast becoming the exception rather than the rule.

It is often said that divorce is the 2nd most traumatic experience after loss of a loved one. The Divorce Journey is a rollercoaster of emotions and a minefield of unknowns. I specialise in helping people to cope with their divorce and see on a daily basis how difficult it can be. Having been through my own divorce I am fully aware of how it can hit you like a freight train and leave you feeling overwhelmed and unable to move forward.

However, as many of you will know, I am a big believer that it is not what happens to you in life that matters; it is what you do about it that counts. There are some positives to divorce that should not be forgotten, in fact I believe they should be shouted loud and clear for all those going through divorce to hear.

The 5 BEST things about going through a divorce:

– You can redesign your life the way you want it. Now is the time to start planning all those things you could not do whilst you were married – a trip you wanted to take but your partner didn’t fancy, taking the job you really want, designing your home the way you like it

– Freedom. You don’t have to worry about pleasing your partner anymore. You can focus on doing what you want, when you want to do it.

You have quality time with your kids. You can spend precious time alone with your kids and focus on them 100% when you are with them.

– You can have what I call aromcom”moment. During many marriages sexual attraction can fizzle. The good news is when you get divorced you can start dating again when you feel ready.  You can experience falling in love all over again and no longer live vicariously through Romantic Comedies (Romcoms).

– You can reinvent yourself. A lot of people choose to make changes in their lives after a divorce. I have heard of vegetarians starting to eat meat again, some decide to sleep on a different side of the bed and others make radical changes to their hair and personal style.

You cannot see what lies ahead so why assume it is all doom and gloom? As Marilyn Munroe once wisely said:

“Everything happens for a reason…Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together”

Keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel during your Divorce Journey. Your divorce may mark the end of an era but it is also the beginning of the rest of your life. It’s all in your hands so create the life YOU want to live.