“How do I deal with an ex who just keeps on bullying me even though we are not together anymore?”

“How do I deal with an ex who just keeps on bullying me even though we are not together anymore?”

This can be a very tough to cope with and also emotionally draining. If you have children it can be even harder as you try to shield them from it all too.

A technique that is simple and effective is to learn is how to control your own energy. Often the bully wants to engage in bullying to get a reaction from you. They want your attention and this is one sure way to get it. They want you to respond and enjoy it when you show your feelings. This way they get to have an exchange of energy with you.

The key to this strategy is to take control of your energy and learn how to cut it off and not give it away. Simple steps to follow are:

  • not responding at all if possible
  • if you have to reply then stick to facts only
  • cut out all emotion and personal feelings
  • don’t give them any personal information about you or your life

It may be tempting to point out the error of their ways however this is fuelling the fire and they are rarely going to admit they are in the wrong. They will just enjoy the fact that you are still engaging with them and see their bullying as successful in achieving their outcome. If you can cut off your energy they will soon find it too hard to get a hook into you and will eventually get bored.

Be sensible as sometimes bullies can be hard to predict. If you feel you are in danger then call the police and consult your legal advisor immediately.

jai jai
jai@jaijo.com