11 Dec Breaking up hurts
It does hurt when you break up from a relationship – even if it was a relatively short lived one. You shared your life, feelings and thoughts with someone and now they are no longer part of your life. Although it is an emotional pain it can feel like a physical one at times.
It’s key to remember that the pain you are experiencing is a natural part of your detachment and healing process. You have to go through this to move forward and rediscover your single identity again.
The cold hard truth is that if it had been the right relationship for you it would have worked out. Even if you didn’t see it coming or if you find yourself being dumped, they were not the right partner for you as Mr or Mrs Right would treat you better than that and not let you go in a million years. In many ways they have done you a favour by letting you go so you can find someone more deserving of you.
However tough breaking up can appear there are techniques you can use to make the break-up journey easier for you. First of all recognise if you are running any of the following negative patterns:
- Reminiscing about all the great times you shared
- Forgetting about the bad times or things that didn’t work so well for you
- Trying to find answers to what went wrong and going over and over it in your mind
It is quite normal to do all of the above although if you want to move on quickly you have to take your control back. Use the following techniques to move you forward:
- Take off the rose coloured glasses and see the relationship for what it truly was – warts and all
- When your mind wanders to the things you miss from your ex then refocus it on the negative parts
- Surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself
- Get out of the house and do some exercise – even a brisk walk around the block will help
- Ask for help from an expert if you feel you are stuck and need a boost to get you moving in the right direction
Remember that sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can come together. Most of us have gone through at least one break up before so you know that you can recover.
You have your whole life in front of you so focus on getting yourself back on track and happy so that you can be in a better place to attract the right partner when the opportunity arises.