Angela came to see me face-to-face for our first session and wanted to know how to deal with the aggressive emails she had been receiving. She had been replying to him and venting her anger but this had escalated the animosity between them.
I gave Angela some techniques to help calm down her emotions and help her to regain control. They are especially effective when you receive a difficult email or letter and can also be used when having a conversation with someone that turns nasty. Angela used them to take more control of her emotions and I showed her how to take a step back before responding. She learned how to take the emotion out of a situation in order to see it more clearly. Ultimately, this meant that her responses were more effective in getting her towards her goals. She commented that the feelings of panic she had been experiencing ‘in the moment’ had disappeared.
Angela also used my ‘On Call’ service, where she could phone me outside of normal working hours, when her lawyers were not available. This meant that on a Friday at 5.30pm when she tended to receive the most stinging emails, she always had someone to speak to. Although I do not give legal advice, I was able to calm her down and run through my process to de-intensify her emotions. As a result, she was still able to enjoy her weekend rather than spending it stewing over the email.
Her husband, sadly, didn’t stop sending the aggressive emails – but happily it did not have the same impact on Angela’s life and she was able to cope much better. I often work with my clients to take control of the things they can and let go of those they can’t.