21 Mar 10 ways to know if you’re going to get dumped
Getting dumped is never easy; especially if it’s the last thing you want to happen. If it takes you by surprise it can be devastating and leave you reeling as your whole life changes direction in a heartbeat. So it helps to be prepared and at least a little aware that a break-up could be on the cards.
Here are 10 ways to help you realise that you may be on your way to getting dumped:
- Your partner starts to go out more without you. They might start coming home later or spend more time apart at weekends. One recent client of mine said her partner joined a local gym and started spending time working out more. She thought he was on a health and fitness drive but it turns out he wanted to get back in shape before he started dating again.
- Your partner seems more distant with you. Maybe they are quieter or don’t seem as interested in hearing what you have to say. I often hear clients complain that their partner has shut off to them and doesn’t bother to listen, even when they really need help or advice.
- They start to hide their phone or have a passcode on it suddenly. Acting secretive and not letting their phone or iPad out of sight could be a sign that they have met someone else and don’t want you to see messages.
- Your partner stops wanting to spend time with your family or friends. Often they feel guilty if they are about to leave you and don’t want to pretend that everything is alright in front of others that care about you.
- You feel your connection is gone. Many of my clients find that when they look back after being dumped there was a moment that they looked into their partner’s eyes and felt they had lost that sparkle and connection with them. They no longer looked at them the same way, almost as if they had disconnected.
- Lack of physical contact. They start making excuses when it comes to sex. This could be a sign the chemistry has fizzled out although this one can be confusing as some clients report great sex lives up until the very end.
- Public displays of affection dry up. If your partner stops wanting to hold you hand or kiss you in public then it could be a sign that they are wanting to appear available to others.
- An increase in arguments is often a sign that your partner wants out. They may be instrumental in provoking disagreements to make it more obvious that the relationship isn’t working.
- If your partner starts treating you badly then it is often a sign that they want out. A recent client told me her ex had even confessed to being mean to her in the hope that she would end the relationship and save him the job!
- Trust your intuition if you just don’t feel secure in your relationship. You will have a feeling when things start to go off track to learn to trust your instinct.
If you can pick up on the early signs you have more chance of being able to take action and save your relationship. My advice if you feel your partner may be gearing up to dump you is:
– Take stock and work out what you want. If you do want to stay for the right reasons then have a think about what you could do to get things back on track.
– Write an action plan of things you can do to turn things around. Keep a note of what seems to work and what doesn’t.
– If you are not making any progress on your own then speak openly to your partner about how you feel. They may be able to reassure you or you may find a way to work together on your relationship.
Be prepared that when you bring up your feelings your partner may take the chance to dump you. But in my opinion it is better to know than suffer in silence or worse to suffer being treated badly. Don’t waste time with someone who treats you badly as you deserve better. It is better to be single than feel unloved and in pain in and unhealthy relationship.
There is a life after break-ups and whilst there is no magic wand to take away all the pain there are plenty of techniques you can use to feel better faster.
Sara Davison is an expert break-up, separation and divorce coach who developed the UK’s first Divorce Coaching program which provides individuals with the tools, techniques and advice needed to help individuals navigate and better cope with the process of divorce.
For more information on Sara, or to book a one to one consultation, logon to her website www.saradavison.com or follow her on Facebook (Sara Davison Divorce Coaching), Twitter (@SDDivorcecoach) and Instagram (SaraDavisonDivorceCoach)
Book yourself on her next break-up Retreat from the 20th-21st May 2016 via her website http://saradavison.com/break-up-recovery-retreat/